Contributed by Cindi Pearce, Catalogs.com Top 10 Guru

Do you really want him back?

Are you sure? Okay.

Then pull out all the stops — but don’t do anything criminal or illegal or stupid or desperate.

Here are the top ten ways (maybe) to get your ex back:

10. First, the “don’ts”

Do not ever threaten suicide or engage in any other kind of psycho BS to get your ex back. If it does work it may mean that he only agreed to reunite because he was afraid you would off yourself, and he couldn’t live with that. You don’t want him back on those terms. Winning the ex back via guilt isn’t cool. He’ll eventually realize you weren’t suicidal, and it was all a ploy and he’ll be out of the door again.

9. And again, “don’ts”

The pathetic ex-girlfriend or ex-wife routine is not the route to go. Do not run over him with your car or engage in any of the heinous things that scorned women have resorted to in a moment of madness, which sent them to jail. Do not feign pregnancy or some terminal disease. NO.

And now, some “do’s” …

8. Feign indifference

Behave indifferently toward him when you see him or talk to him. This does not mean that you should be rude or crude or nasty or bitter, just indifferent as in, oh, yeah, I remember you, sort of, gotta run. Ciao. If you talk on the phone, make sure you hang up first. If he leaves you a message wait awhile before you respond. Do not appear to be too eager. These techniques may work or may backfire so execute this tip or any of the others knowing in advance that human nature is hard to predict.

7. Join a convent

Tell him that’s what you’re going to do and not because of him, but because it’s what your heart is instructing you to do. Be very serious. If he says, “Good for you,” well, my dear, you’re going to have to do some fast maneuvering and have a handy dandy explanation why the Sacred Academy of Whatever didn’t take you on as a novice because you don’t really want to become a nun, do you?

6. Makeup someone new

Okay, this isn’t very honorable but all’s fair in love and war, right? Let the word get out that you are madly in love and are seriously thinking about marrying so and so (this could be a made-up person that the ex obviously doesn’t know) and the two of you are moving to Bora Bora. Make sure somehow or another that the ex knows about this. If he’s still interested in you, you may find him at your door in an attempt to avert your marriage to the (make believe) new guy. If he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care and your deception didn’t work.

5. Switch teams

Decide that you’re a lesbian and don’t like men at all and certainly don’t want that man back. This may intrigue him enough to strike up a conversation with you. He’ll want to know if you were always gay. You decide on what answer you give him. Perhaps none at all. Remain mysterious. Hey, we’re trying anything that might work so don’t get judgmental on us.

4. Reverse psychology

How about not trying to win him back? That might work. Again, reverse psychology. Get very Zen on him.

3. Speak up

Point blank tell him that you want him back. This takes guts and he may say ‘ no’, but you get kudos for trying. Don’t put your head in the oven if he refuses your offer to reunite.

2. Make him jealous

You can always go the jealousy route and make sure he sees you with smoldering hot guys or that the word gets back to him that you are spending time with smoldering hot guys or manage somehow to gets a picture or two of you and the smoldering hot guys sent to him, which is easy to achieve nowadays. Most everyone has the capacity to take pictures on their cell phones (just ask the celebrities.)

1. Live well

Living well is the best revenge and may make you seem incredibly appealing. Now, don’t get carried away and dance on a tabletop at your new boyfriend’s great-grandmother’s birthday party making a drunken spectacle out of yourself, but you get the idea. Don’t let any grass grow under your feet. Don’t look back. Let your ex know through your actions and behavior and your attitude and activities that you don’t need him. When your ex sees how well you’re doing on your own and how good you look, he may reconsider and want you back. In fact, you may become very appealing to him once again, and he’ll realize what he gave up. There is something about an independent woman, who isn’t spending her time sobbing over her loss that piques the interest of men.