Animals and Objects

Funny Halloween costume ideas

You show up to a party a few weeks before Halloween. It’s a costume party. You’re munching on the carrots and dip, trying to scout out someone at least half-sober who is suitable for coherent conversation. Suddenly, you spill some Secret Ranch on your costume, and you have an epiphany: maybe dressing up as Michael Myers or a witch in a spandex tube dress for the seventh year in a row wasn’t such a good idea. Don’t sweat it. We’ve all been in that dark, embarrassing place. Never fear, noble fashion victim! There IS hope.

So you have no sense of party fashion. In second grade, you didn’t understand why Mrs. Brown confiscated your home-sewn ghost costume with a pointy white hood; people have remarked that you should be a model for the Sears catalog?the ultra-retro section; you showed up at a college frat’s costume kegger dressed as a cop. It’s time to take that rash, senseless spirit of boldness and aim for new heights: the heights of comedy. Laughter (when people are laughing with you, anyway) is the cure to all social ills, and it’s time to put the ‘fun’ into those funny Halloween costume ideas.

The ironically bad-mouthed furry innocent

If you have the budget to do so, The Happy Bunny is a great character to imitate. It’s a smiling bunny that says horrible, obnoxious things to people while maintaining an angelic demeanor. The trick is to memorize several of its trade phrases or ones just like them. Examples include: “You’re ugly, and that’s sad,” “I hate everything,” “I’ll be nicer when you’re smarter,” “Cute and psycho, so things even out” “You suck big time,” and “Have a nice day, you worthless turd.” Obviously, people with no sense of humor should be avoided at all costs.

Cartoon characters from adult shows

Some funny Halloween costume ideas can be store-bought. Cartman from South Park and Stewie from Family Guy come to mind here. They’re loquacious, they’re insane, they’re adorably obnoxious. Use sparingly around religious friends.

Electronics with funny buttons

You could be a TV remote, with custom buttons such as, “Block Ryan Seacrest,” “Censor Fox News,” “All WW2 documentaries, all the time” and various volume buttons, like “probably should turn down a few hundred decibels,” “my ears aren’t damaged yet,” “weaker than a sonic boom,” and “Aerosmith Concert?Seventies Setting.” Computer fans could fashion a cardboard box keyboard with such functions as, “Delete Spouse,” “Virus Ate My Paper,” “Nuke Function,” “Enter / Hell,” “Pet Fell on Keyboard,” “Oh, Crap!” and so on. ~Your crazy boss from Hell

This one is not for the faint of heart.* Arrive wearing the clothes of your ungodly superior and pull off the best impression you can, lame jokes, facial expressions, name-garbling, awkward body movements?the works. Do not attempt this if:

A) your boss is popular and only mean and vindictive towards you B) your boss is at the party C) any friends of your boss are at the party D) someone’s making home movies and insists you appear in them E) your friends can’t keep a secret worth their lives F) there is no way to remove your costume at a moment’s notice

* This stunt works better when your audience has imbibed alcoholic beverages. They’re incapacitated**, more susceptible to shared humor, and less likely to remember you than the reason why they spent the night hugging ex’s toilet. ** This stunt does NOT work better if YOU are incapacitated.

A celebrity

Again, this will require some acting on your part, but with the right threads and a halfway decent wig, you too can mock Paris Hilton or do a killer Al Pacino impression. Just don’t impersonate Russell Crowe anywhere near reporters, throw-able telephones, crocodiles, or former girlfriends. This warning also applies to Sienna Miller and Elton John.

The minimalist, done one better

This is a refuge of last resort, of course. You have five minutes and the nearest novelty shop is at least ten minutes away. You’re fresh out of funny Halloween costume ideas. What to do? Improvise. Hang a cardboard sign around your neck. “Imagine a costume here. …What, you’re not creative?”

You could also recycle those costumes you’ve used in days past. Say you have an Alf costume (God knows why, but you do). A nice “Out of work, spare change” or “Homeless and shedding; donations accepted” would do nicely. Another classic is the whole Bret Easton Ellis thing. Dress up in a nice work outfit, preferably a suit and tie or a three-piece. When asked, “Who are you?” the answer is, “I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”

Hopefully this article has given you some insight into the endless and potentially hilarious possibilities of funny Halloween costume ideas. Now go to your attic, scrounge up some disposable props, and get sewing! Or gluing!Your crazy boss from Hell

This one is not for the faint of heart.* Arrive wearing the clothes of your ungodly superior and pull off the best impression you can, lame jokes, facial expressions, name-garbling, awkward body movements—the works. Do not attempt this if:

A) your boss is popular and only mean and vindictive towards you B) your boss is at the party C) any friends of your boss are at the party D) someone’s making home movies and insists you appear in them E) your friends can’t keep a secret worth their lives F) there is no way to remove your costume at a moment’s notice

* This stunt works better when your audience has imbibed alcoholic beverages. They’re incapacitated**, more susceptible to shared humor, and less likely to remember you than the reason why they spent the night hugging ex’s toilet. ** This stunt does NOT work better if YOU are incapacitated.

A celebrity

Again, this will require some acting on your part, but with the right threads and a halfway decent wig, you too can mock Paris Hilton or do a killer Al Pacino impression. Just don’t impersonate Russell Crowe anywhere near reporters, throw-able telephones, crocodiles, or former girlfriends. This warning also applies to Sienna Miller and Elton John.

The minimalist, done one better

This is a refuge of last resort, of course. You have five minutes and the nearest novelty shop is at least ten minutes away. You’re fresh out of funny Halloween costume ideas. What to do? Improvise. Hang a cardboard sign around your neck. “Imagine a costume here. …What, you’re not creative?”

You could also recycle those costumes you’ve used in days past. Say you have an Alf costume (God knows why, but you do). A nice “Out of work, spare change” or “Homeless and shedding; donations accepted” would do nicely. Another classic is the whole Bret Easton Ellis thing. Dress up in a nice work outfit, preferably a suit and tie or a three-piece. When asked, “Who are you?” the answer is, “I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”

Hopefully this article has given you some insight into the endless and potentially hilarious possibilities of funny Halloween costume ideas. Now go to your attic, scrounge up some disposable props, and get sewing! Or gluing!